This is one of the best things I have ever heard of.

1. Dave and Nepeta

I see Nepeta like a Jade troll, or a troll that is most like the childess nature that Jade has. I can see them having a tender relationship together. I would lean more towards platonic, but if it is a romantic ship, it would be hearts or diamonds. Like a soft romance.

2. Rose and Jade

This is weird. I can’t see it. I mean I can read about it, if I find something striking to me, but idk. I see them more as sisters.

3. Aradia and Sollux

They were actually pretty cute together before Aradia’s accident. I would see them as Hearts pre-explosion. post-explosion, I don’t think ghost Aradia is a good match though.

4. Gamzee and White Text Guy

This is the funniest crack ship I have ever seen. Because, think bout it? Scratch knows literally all everything of everything. All the information of the world. But he doesn’t know what goes on in Gamzee’s head. Just imagine it. Scratch would try to explain a phenomenon with all the knowledge he has, and Gamzee just responds with “MoThEr FuCkIn MiRaClEs” and Scratch going nuts over it. That shit is hilarious.

5. Kanaya and Rose

I feel they are literally made for each other. They are just too similar to not be. They would be good together. I am thinking Hearts since they don’t have a push/pull balance for Diamonds.

6. Karkat and Equius

well this is just depressing. I feel this could be a messed up relationship. Like from Karkat yelling at Equius to Equius spouting blood caste nonsense which would add to Karkat’s self deprecation, which would fuel Karkat’s anger which would give into Equius’s submission fetish. At that is if they actually decide to try it out.

So no, out of the question. They are NOT together

Good Question. I had to go back and look at them because I barely remember the kids’ titles, let alone all the Trolls. I managed to find all but 3, so here are my guesses for them

Nepeta:  Rogue of Heart

• So Nepeta is a kitty scoundrel. She might have stolen the love of someone, or even “steal the heart” of the citizens of whichever moon she is on

Terezi:  Seer of Mind

• She is able to predict her opponents moves by knowing psychology.

Karkat:  Knight of Blood

• Karkat is a violent boy who kills things. So blood of his enemy, his own blood color, and blood land. Yeah, blood knight.

Tavros:  Page of Breath

• I feel like this has to do with Tavros being able to fly, but not as high as John??

Vriska: Thief of Light

• Well, this is about her pirate days. As a thief. And I guess she steals the white piece’s stuff or ring or something along those lines.

Sollux:  Mage of Doom

• He heard his entire planet dying. He also found/fixed the game that started the apocalypse in the first place. And he has magic powers

Feferi: Witch of Life

• Kissing people can bring them back to life. Plus she can talk to animals and wants to protect life. So yes, life witch.

Equius:  Heir of Void

• I guess he gets yeeted into space. Enjoy your new home

Aradia:  Maid of Time

• She was playing the field to make sure that the correct events happen for the timeline, so yeah.

John – Heir of Breath

• With his jetpack he is able to conquer the skies. A lot better than Tavros I guess

Rose – Seer of Light

• I guess she can talk to the gods, if we view Light=Gods. Maybe. Or because she is able to talk to the White Queen.

Jade – Witch of Space

• She has a trans-dimensional dog monster. And she was able to master her dream space.

Dave – knight of Time

• He also knows how to fight, and has mastered time travel

Ooooh, this is a good question. Because not all of the trolls interacted with the kids.

So Dave and Tavros – yeah they have nothing. I see no troll romance with them.

Tavros and Rose – same as before. Nothing. Maybe I just don’t see Tavros being in a relationship yet? Or at least anyone but Vriska (I am low key rooting HEARTS for them later on)

Karkat and John – …I can see them as friends. Maybe diamonds? Karkat’s negativity is balanced out by John’s positivity

Karkat and Jade – maybe spades, though it hasn’t gone into respect yet, just trash hating.

Kanaya and Rose – yeah this has to be Hearts. They are too much alike to be Diamonds, and they don’t have enough hate in them. or maybe spades because they do have a rivalry? I’m still thinking hearts later on.

Kanaya and Dave – yeah nothing. No romance, just open and supportive

Terezi and John – if they were, I would say Hearts, but I am not really feeling it. They don’t match as well to me.

Terezi and Dave – I do like her relationship with Dave, (and future dave), I think if they were a relationship if could go as Diamonds or Hearts. But I am not sure if I see it yet. There is potential for it, but not at the moment

I think that is all of the troll/kid combos I could think of

You know what? Smart move. That definitely was a necessity then. Totes. 100%

Yeah, I felt that entire thing he was hard core projecting his feelings for himself here. My first thought was actually about Karkat running that cursed script thus causing all of his problems. And you are right, this is the mentality the trolls would have when screwing with the kids.